"An unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction." This is what Lewis calls "Joy." Like Happiness or Pleasure, anyone who has experienced it will want it again. Considered only in its quality, it might almost equally well be called a particular kind of unhappiness or grief. But then it is a kind we cant. Joy is never in our power and pleasure often is. "Joy is distinct not only from pleasure in general but even from aesthetic pleasure. It must have the stab, the pang, the inconsolable longing."
Lewis says in his childhood, as he prayed for his mother to live, he approached God , or his idea of God, "without love, without awe, even without fear. He was, in my mental picture of this miracle, to appear neither Savior nor Judge, but merely as magician, "and when He had done what was required of Him I supposed He would simply - well, go away." I think this is the attitude
Howard W. Hunter was talking about when he said,
"If prayer is only a spasmodic cry at the time of crisis, then it is utterly selfish, and we come to think of God as a repairman or a service agency to help us only in our emergencies."
Of his father - "It is strange that having known me all my life he should have known me so little."
On prayer - "My nightly task was to produce by sheer will power a phenomenon which will power could never produce, which was so ill-defined that I could never say with absolute confidence whether it had occurred, and which, even when it did occur, was of very mediocre spiritual value." I'm pretty sure I've prayed like this before; trying to use all my imagination to conjure a picture of God to pray to.